Strain Overview: Dropping as Illuminauto #41 in 2020, Bear Assed Monkey was an Artisanal head-to-head of one of our favourite Indica-leaning hybrids and a straight-up, no-nonsense 50/50. 3 Bears OG has been a strain we’ve loved to tinker and tweak with crosses since it was first released; it quickly became a cornerstone of our Artisanal […]
Dropping as Illuminauto #41 in 2020, Bear Assed Monkey was an Artisanal head-to-head of one of our favourite Indica-leaning hybrids and a straight-up, no-nonsense 50/50.
3 Bears OG has been a strain we’ve loved to tinker and tweak with crosses since it was first released; it quickly became a cornerstone of our Artisanal collection. There are so many branches of the Mephisto genetic library that have their roots in this stellar beauty, and for good reason.
Crossing her with 4 Assed Monkey was an open goal as far as we were concerned, that straight-up lemon funk from Mother Bear mixed with the classic diesel, chocolate and coffee from Daddy Monkey. The Gorilla Glue parentage shines through, an old classic brought back to the fore, making this the only glue on the market worth huffing.
Growing Tips:
On paper, you may regard the proposition of a Bear Assed Monkey grow as a combination of two lower-medium sized plants crossed together, as nothing to get your panties in a twist about, but in reality, this hybrid is a wholly different scenario. Bear Assed Monkey is a strain we can easily run out of superlatives to describe; in short, she’s a tremendous addition to the catalogue, creating bulky plants loaded with flowers that would give a cavern’s worth of quartz a run for its money.
Bear Assed Monkey gets out of the gates pretty well, and throughout the veg cycle can be grown au-naturel, but will benefit highly from simple leaf tucking every few days paired with very strategic light defoliation. LST can be done successfully but isn’t a requirement to create an even bush of weighty buds. Speaking of weight, she’s definitely a heavyweight.
Her effect is STRONG. You might get nicknamed the vet as it’s enough to knock out a small pony or get a bachelor-sized party of novices stoned to the gills.
Seasoned tokers should also prick up their ears. If anyone is looking for evening/night-time stoney meds, a jar of Bear Assed Monkey in your medicine cabinet is not to be missed.
Yield is more than decent, 120g+ plants are not uncommon for an experienced hand.
Lineage: 3 Bears OG x 4 Assed Monkey
F1 Feminized Automatic
Indica/Sativa: 60/40
Cycle Time: 70 to 80 days from sprout
Size: 50 to 80cm
Yield: 80 to 120 grams
Aroma and Flavor: Classic lemon funk, aggressively earthy.
Effect: Warming body high, great for insomnia and aching joints
Bear Assed Monkey Auto
$44.00
- ✓ Spend $120 → 18 free seeds ($270 value) + free shipping
- ✓ 100% germination guarantee. We make it right.
- ✓ 99% of orders ship in 1–2 business days.
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Dropping as Illuminauto #41 in 2020, Bear Assed Monkey was an Artisanal head-to-head of one of our favourite Indica-leaning hybrids and a straight-up, no-nonsense 50/50.
3 Bears OG has been a strain we’ve loved to tinker and tweak with crosses since it was first released; it quickly became a cornerstone of our Artisanal collection. There are so many branches of the Mephisto genetic library that have their roots in this stellar beauty, and for good reason.
Crossing her with 4 Assed Monkey was an open goal as far as we were concerned, that straight-up lemon funk from Mother Bear mixed with the classic diesel, chocolate and coffee from Daddy Monkey. The Gorilla Glue parentage shines through, an old classic brought back to the fore, making this the only glue on the market worth huffing.
Growing Tips:
On paper, you may regard the proposition of a Bear Assed Monkey grow as a combination of two lower-medium sized plants crossed together, as nothing to get your panties in a twist about, but in reality, this hybrid is a wholly different scenario. Bear Assed Monkey is a strain we can easily run out of superlatives to describe; in short, she’s a tremendous addition to the catalogue, creating bulky plants loaded with flowers that would give a cavern’s worth of quartz a run for its money.
Bear Assed Monkey gets out of the gates pretty well, and throughout the veg cycle can be grown au-naturel, but will benefit highly from simple leaf tucking every few days paired with very strategic light defoliation. LST can be done successfully but isn’t a requirement to create an even bush of weighty buds. Speaking of weight, she’s definitely a heavyweight.
Her effect is STRONG. You might get nicknamed the vet as it’s enough to knock out a small pony or get a bachelor-sized party of novices stoned to the gills.
Seasoned tokers should also prick up their ears. If anyone is looking for evening/night-time stoney meds, a jar of Bear Assed Monkey in your medicine cabinet is not to be missed.
Yield is more than decent, 120g+ plants are not uncommon for an experienced hand.
Lineage: 3 Bears OG x 4 Assed Monkey
F1 Feminized Automatic
Indica/Sativa: 60/40
Cycle Time: 70 to 80 days from sprout
Size: 50 to 80cm
Yield: 80 to 120 grams
Aroma and Flavor: Classic lemon funk, aggressively earthy.
Effect: Warming body high, great for insomnia and aching joints
Common Questions
Is this legal to buy?
Our seeds are sold as collectibles to U.S. customers. They ship as seed-only in plain packaging with a neutral business name on your bank statement. We do not talk about growing, using, or selling cannabis on the site or in email.
How do the free seeds and Vault Bonus Stack work?
Every seed pack you add to your cart counts toward the Vault Bonus Stack tiers. When your cart hits $120 / $150 / $180 / $210, we add 18 / 30 / 42 / 63 bonus seeds on top of your main packs. Your cart shows which tier you are in and how far you are from the next one, and the bonus seeds are added automatically at checkout. No coupon codes and no fine print.
What happens if my seeds do not germinate?
We have a 100% germination promise. If you have an issue, reach out with your order number and what happened. We troubleshoot with you and replace or credit according to our policy. The short version is: if something is off and you are acting in good faith, we make it right without a fight.
How fast will my order ship, and how is it packaged?
Orders usually leave our U.S. vault within 1–2 business days. The shipping estimate you see at checkout is carrier transit time, not how long we take to pack it. Everything ships in plain packaging with no loud branding and a neutral business name on the label.
Is this strain good for a first or second grow?
Yes. Cherry Pie OG Auto is one of our easier autos and forgives light and watering mistakes. If you run into anything, our support team has you covered.